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Continue Writing Even If It Is Terrible

Julia Cameron – author of The Artist’s Way– has a blog post from January 2018 which resonated with me a bit. It is titled,”The Wall.”

The author says that when writers cannot think of anything to write – hitting the wall- they try to force optimism into the scenario, or we doubt our own creativity. This does not work towards reaching your goals. Instead, she says the following:

“…there is a better way to conquer The Wall, and that is to surrender. Instead of trying to convince ourselves of the brilliance of our idea, we need to say instead, ‘I am willing to finish this piece of work even if my idea is terrible.’ In other words, ‘I am willing to write badly.’

The moment we are willing to write badly, we begin to have freedom.”

Imperfection is one of the toughest things to accept in your writing. It has kept many from journal writing again or from ever starting in the first place. I have heard many people state that they did not like the way in which they write; it is not like the published books that they read all the time, so they do not want to come face-to-face with unedited writing.

Does your journal consist of a wall of text? That’s OK. It’s not beautiful, but functional. Is your attempt at an art journal laughably rudimentary? That’s OK. It is fun to do. Sometimes we are our own worst critic which is keeping us from the fun of journal writing. As we keep going, day by day, at some point we reach a journal writing habit which helps to ignore what we have deemed as imperfections, and we just get on with it.

Keep going.

Have you ever hit The Wall in journal writing? What did you do about it?

Peace,

Deborah

Types of Journals to Consider

Here is a list of journal types to consider:

  • Art journals – Whether you are drawing, painting, scrapbooking, art journals tend to have fewer words and more images. Art journaling can be therapeutic and can help you to develop a creative mind. [Follow art therapist and journal writer Jade Herriman for tips on wellness and journaling.]
  • Bullet journals –These are custom-tailored to-do lists more than they are traditional journals. The name comes from the bullet points or dots that you are to alter as you gradually complete a task. If you find that writing your feelings is not for you, or if making lists is more interesting, then bullet journaling might be for you.
  • Commonplace books – These feature inspirational quotes or images that you have come across. Originally, they were a space to keep all the things you want to remember in a common place, including your own drawings or paintings.
  • Digital Journals – So far, we have discussed the contents of journals. Here we are interested in what the format of a digital journal can do for you. A digital journal will have a keyword search, saving you from indexing your topics. A digital journal on your phone or mobile device, for many people, is not an extra item to carry around during the day. If you journal on the go, a digital journal is often internet-based so that you can journal from various devices in different places that are synced. You can also use a word processing application that is already on your computer or mobile device without the need to download or sign up for something new, especially if you prefer the journal to be only on your hard drive. I reviewed the Journey journal app a few years ago. Read it here: Journey: The Digital Journal [A Review]
  • Five-Minute Journal- Tim Ferriss, author of Tools for Titans, mentions writing in his journal for five minutes with basic prompts every day such as “I am grateful for…” Read page 3 on his PDF for more information: 5 Morning Rituals by T. Ferriss
  • Heirloom Journals – These are the books that you wish to leave for your heirs. Many journal writers have a separate journal just for this purpose. You can discuss your life, the family history, what the heirs were like growing up. You can discuss anything that you would like your heirs to know. Purchase the longest-lasting material that you can afford for this one to continue through the generations.
  • Log – In a log, you talk about what you’ve done today or during the week. Austin Kleon, the author of Steal Like an Artist, a book on creativity, talks about his style of journaling and gives tips on his blog post titled, “ON KEEPING A LOGBOOK.”
  • Morning Pages – Creativity expert Julia Cameron starts the day with “three longhand pages done first thing on awakening,” which is why this stream of consciousness is called “Morning Pages.” The purpose is to prime the pump of creativity.
  • Self-Improvement Journals – In self-improvement journals, you are hashing through what you’ve done, how can it be improved, what you’re going to do moving forward. Many have used this to keep track of mental or physical health, or to engender more gratitude.
  • Travel Journals – There are those who would rather wait until a big event, like a vacation, comes up before they journal. They want to capture this special trip in journal form. Some even incorporate images, tickets, scraps of fabric affixed to the pages of the journal for a more complex, mixed media journal.

There are many more. This list is not comprehensive. It is best to make a combination that you prefer. You might even use more than one at a time.

Peace,

Deborah

Interview with a Journal Writer (External Link)

Author and founder of the National Journal Writing Month (also known as NaJoWriMo), Bakari Chavanu, has an interview with a 30-year journal writer named Sharon Boggon. Boggon shares her story on the NaJoWriMo website: Part 1 of the Interview and Part 2 of the Interview.

The idea for the journal writing month is to give prompts to assist you to write your story during the months of January, April, July, and October. It’s a nice little marathon if you don’t write in your journal every day, or if you would like some company while you journal.

Boggon, however, writes in a journal almost every day and owns over 200 journals. You will learn what inspired the journal writer to begin writing. You will learn the many types of journals that the interviewee uses. You will gain insight into what the writer believes benefits you when journaling.

“Often writing something helps to clarify your thoughts. Since you have to lay out your ideas logically and develop an argument, you discover in the process what you think. It is in the writing that this discovery happens.”

–Sharon Boggon


Exactly! Often I am not sure what I actually think until – in the privacy of my journal- I write all the things I might never say aloud. There is comfort in the pen and paper.

Read the interview here:

Part 1 of the Interview Part 2 of the Interview

Peace,

Deborah

Your 5 Senses as Journal Prompts

Here’s one way to journal if

… you have not yet started

…do not know what to say

… would like to recall a moment more vividly later

…or have not journaled in a long time and need a boost.

Use your senses!

Ask yourself the following:

  1. What do I see right now?
  2. What scent or scents do I smell right now?
  3. What do I hear?
  4. What do I taste right now?
  5. What texture is in contact with my body? Or what does my body feel right now?

It has been my experience that when you are this detailed, you remember the moment better. I do this prompt at funerals when I want to remember not only who was there, but the texture of the pew, the smell of someone’s perfume as they hug me, etc.


Truth be told, the taste one is usually the one I have to stretch to find. I am not usually eating and journaling simultaneously. I often end up describing the taste of toothpaste,but that is ok. It is the truth. Tailor the prompts to fit your reality and your world.

I bid you peace,

Deborah

Not Journaling Enough? Your Tools Might Be the Problem

Have you procrastinated in your journaling? Do not feel guilty. Procrastination in journal writing sometimes occurs when your tools do not interest you.

If you are subconsciously irritated by the thin onion skin paper that allows ink to bleed though, one might not wish to write on the page again. If the ink pen you are using is too small for your hands it can be uncomfortable to use, making one less likely to pick it up. Perhaps you journal while outside of your home, but a physical journal is not something you enjoy carrying around.

Perhaps a thicker paper is needed. Perhaps a larger ink pen will help you return to the journal. Perhaps a digital journal is better for on the go writing than a physical one.

Patience is the key here. Sometimes you just need to reassess your objects. Do you find them useful? If not, it might be time to move away from them. While you are at it, enjoy the journey of finding the journal writing tool that is right for you.

Peace,

Deborah

Richard Proenneke, Conservationist and Journal Writer (Journal Writers #1)

The self-taught naturalist Richard Proenneke began his journey in journal writing after suffering an accident at work that left him without sight. He said that if he regained his sight he wanted to be in a place that is beautiful.

His sight returned and he moved near the Twin Lakes area in Alaska, building a log cabin in the woods and writing observations about nature.

His early journals would later be published during his lifetime. This served as a glimpse into Alaskan wildlife and also into the life of a person who discovered what was important to him and pursued it.

Read more about Richard Proenneke at the National Park Service https://www.nps.gov/lacl/learn/historyculture/richard-l-proenneke.htm

Peace,

Deborah

The Journal Serves You (Not the Other Way Around)

There are those who are intimidated by a journal. Some people fear that they are not doing it “right,” that there is some prescribed method to which they should adhere because a famous person writes in that manner. Some are afraid of making mistakes in a journal.

Journals are your tools. They exist to help you reach whatever goal you have decided for your journal. You are not enslaved to the object, nor should you feel bound to a method used by a powerful or successful person if their method does not work for your goals.

It might be easier said than done for some, perhaps, but do not think of your journal as a master or slave driver. Think of your journal as a friend, a faithful assistant who stands ready and eager to enable your desires and goals for your writing.

Peace,

Deborah

Image as Journal Prompt

Use an image as a journal prompt.

It can be a personal image or one you randomly find online or in a print publication. Allow the image to evoke an idea or a memory.

If it is a personal photo, who is in the picture? Where are they? Let yourself tell the story of what led to this moment in the photo, or what happened after. Or perhaps, you can use the personal photo to write details about an individual that you know.

If the image is not personal to you, such as an image from a magazine, you can still use it as a journal prompt. You can recount why you selected that image, where it comes from, what it reminds you of, how it inspires you (or not).

Peace,

Deborah

Journal Writing Suggestions

This is a letter which I sent to an acquaintance -Mr. X- who asked for journal writing suggestions. Two decades have passed since Mr. X has written in a journal. He wanted to start again and asked if I had any tips.

I did.

What follows is my answer to him, reprinted with permission and with a few edits for clarity. Hopefully, this might prove useful to others.

————————————-

Hi Mr. X,

Via text you asked for journal writing suggestions. I started thinking of everything I wanted to say and it was too much for a text message over the phone, so I’m writing in a longer form. Here are journal writing suggestions that I hope will be useful. (By the way, my mother always says this about taking advice: glean what works for you, and then toss the rest.)

Here we go:

  1. There is no right or wrong way to write in your journal. Your journal is neither an exam nor a measure of your worth. Some beginners become obsessed with doing it “right,” choosing the “perfect” pen, not making mistakes, etc., to the point of paralysis or negative thoughts about themselves. You are not being judged or graded. This book exists to serve you.
  2. Understand your purpose for the journal.
    • Knowing why you journal helps to choose your format. If you journal for future generations 100 years from now to understand what life is like for you in 2017, then you might choose a leather journal or a digital journal -something long-lasting- as opposed to a paperback sketchbook.
    • Knowing why you journal helps to choose how frequently you should journal. I write every day because I would like to look back on what I was doing a year ago today and see my progress (or lack of it). Other people only write on vacation, because those trips are important to them. They do not need to write 365 days a year.
    • Knowing why you journal will come in handy on the rare days when you do not feel like doing it. Your “why” can be your motivation through writer’s block.
  3. Here are a few reasons that people journal:
  • Some use a journal to record a history of their lives for the next generation. I call these heirloom journals.
  • Some use it to think through an issue, e.g. Sometimes I don’t know everything I think about a subject until I write it all down.
  • Many use a journal for personal development, to establish goals for the kind of person they would like to become, the kind of life they would like to have, etc.
  • Others use journals to vent frustrations.
  • Others keep interesting quotes in their journal so that it becomes an inspirational reference book.
  • Some record their progress– physical, mental, academic. E.g. One guy uses it to record his daily diet and exercise regime. He can refer to an entry from 10 years ago to sculpt his body the way that he did in the past.
  • Some use journals for specific events – e.g. They buy a new journal to record their thoughts during the first few months of their newborn’s life; they sometimes include photos.
  • Many people use journaling just to find a home for the thoughts which ricochet inside their minds all day. e.g. Leonardo DaVinci used his notebooks to sketch many things that would not be invented for centuries, including the military tank.

leonardo

  1. Choose a format which works for your purpose.
    • There are traditional paper journals, which I use often. Paper journals are good for slowing down and thinking through an idea. They are also great for heirloom journals, since your heirs can hold the same book that their ancestors touched.
    • There are digital journals –online and offline- such as the ONE DAY journal app for Apple products, or the JOURNEY journal app for Android phones. Digital journal apps are the best for searching through your old entries, creating tags so that you can re-read all journal entries that are under one category.
    • You might type your journal on a WORD document on a password-protected flash drive or external hard drive, so that it’s offline and private.
    • There are audio journals. In those moments when I do not want to write, I use the voice recorder on my phone to talk through an idea.
    • There are video journals. You can record yourself using your camera phone, a point-and-shoot or a DSLR set up.
    • An entrepreneur named Roberto Blake uses social media apps, like Instagram, as a public journal to record his life visually, to recall where he was, geographically and psychologically, on that day.

roberto

You can choose one of these formats or use a combination. It all goes back to your purpose for doing this, your lifestyle, and personality.

  1. There are different formats for organizing the contents of journals. Here are a few types:
    • A log. In a log, you talk about what you’ve done today or during the week.
    • Self-Improvement Journals. Usually you are hashing through what you’ve done, how can it be improved, what you’re going to do moving forward.
    • Art journals. These tend to have fewer words and more images. An art therapist from Australia, Jade Herriman, says that art journaling is therapeutic and helps you to develop a creative mind.
    • Bullet journals. These are mostly custom-tailored to-do lists more than traditional journals. Visit Boho Berry for bullet journaling tutorials.
    • Commonplace books. These feature inspirational quotes or images that you have come across.

It’s best to make a combination that you prefer.

  1. It is helpful to have your form of journaling handy. I keep my paper journal nearby because I write at random times of the day, whether at home or away from home. Other people write at a set hour and at a certain desk, so they keep the book on that desk, ready to go for when they want to jot down an idea.
  2. On the days when you do not feel like writing, or when you would like inspiration, you might discover how other journal writers write.
    • I have written a blog post on Tim Ferriss and a journal process that takes only about 5 minutes to write every day. Here’s a link to “How to Write a 5-Minute Journal.”
    • Clark Kegley, a Youtuber, started journaling in 2013, I believe, for personal development and sharing what he has learned on his channel. Kegley uses only one journal per year. He suggests that you divide the journal into different subjects like a school notebook, e.g. He might section off 30 pages for each subject – 30 pages reserved for inspirational quotes, another 30 for ranting, another 30 pages for his goals, etc. He can go back and forth between the different sections throughout the year as he deems necessary.

Here’s a link to one of his many videos about journal writing called 4 Questions to Upgrade Your Journal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIqMzigWx04 (The four questions are also in the description box below the video if you don’t have time to watch the whole thing.)

Kegley

Here’s another Kegley video that you might find useful, he takes you through how he sets up his journal in The Ultimate Guide to Keeping a Journal. (It’s not really the ultimate guide, there is no ultimate guide; it’s just Kegley’s way of journaling.) The talk starts at the 7min 12sec mark; this is a deep link to that part: https://youtu.be/kcNz4AE1FiI?t=7m12s

    1. Austin Kleon has a blog post about journaling called, ”On Keeping a logbook.” Here is the link: https://austinkleon.com/2010/01/31/logbook/

Basically, he explains that his journal is a list of 4 or 5 things he has done that day, with a few doodles. I’ve noticed that calling it a list instead of a journal seems to help many people to write more often.

Here is an image of what Kleon’s journal looks like:

KLeon

Ultimately, the journal is for you and your purposes. After a while, journal writing becomes a habit. Journal writing can become something as useful to you psychologically as eating or drinking water is for you physically.

Always remember, however, if you decide to walk away from it, that’s fine too; it’s your life. (Plus, you can always pick it up again, if you wish.)

Peace,

Deborah M. Thomas

What are some of your journaling suggestions? Let me know.

Use Your Journal to Improve Language Skills

The premiere Korean language company- Talk to Me in Korean- suggests one thing to do to improve the study of Korean- use a journal. This can be applied to learning any language.

They suggest that you write every day in your journal using the language skills that you wish to improve. Use subject matter that is meaningful and important to you and you are more likely to continue the practice. For instance, if you enjoy writing about family or a friends, that is what you write about in the language that you are learning.

Watch the video where a Talk to Me in Korean host explains the method on Youtube: Do This One Thing to Keep Improving Your Korean.

Peace,

 

Deborah

Addressing the YOU of five years ago in your journal

The leader of a Facebook group recently asked a question similar to the following, a question which might be a great journal prompt:

What have you accomplished which would have impressed YOU five years ago?

That’s a mouthful.

This prompt is meant to help you understand the progress you have made in life.  Have you done something that five years ago you didn’t expect to have done? Have you accomplished something that, five years ago, seemed out of reach? Have you altered your life in ways that you had not even considered back then?

Contemplate it and record your answers.

This prompt can also be used to get your ideas flowing for what’s next. What might impress you in the next five years?

Peace,

Deborah

Social Media = Public Journals

Ten years ago I would give away paper journals to relatives and friends, hoping they would join me in recording their lives. They often did not take me up on the offer.

Enter the touchscreen phone/smartphone, the tablet, etc. Now they record their lives in more ways than I do, through Facebook, Snapchat, and other applications online.

There are many different ways to journal now, even if people do not call it by that name. I still love my paper journal the best, but I am thrilled that so many people are finding the way that suits them to record their endeavors.

I recently came across a video by online entrepreneur Roberto Blake called, “I’m No Instagram Model, But…”. In it, Blake notes that he had not found a way to use the photo app Instagram in a way that fits his personality. Then, he says,

“I decided to turn Instagram into a public journal where I can express what I’m thinking and feeling as a creative person, as a human. And so I can look back on that myself and know exactly when I felt something, where I was at that time – both geographically at the time and just where I was in my own head.”

He’s journaling on social media! But then again, so are most individuals who are on the app. He’s one of the first people that I’ve heard use the word “journal” to describe what he’s doing with it.

Recording your life and thoughts can be done; sometimes  it’s a matter of finding the tools that work for you and your life. Perhaps the journaling tool that best fits your life has not yet been invented. (Perhaps you should invent it.)

Peace,

Deborah

Templates Create Efficiency in Your Journal’s To-Do List

If your journal also houses your to-do list, then efficiency in creating those lists is necessary to get the job done.

One of the biggest culprits of to-do list failure, of not achieving the goal, is the tedium of having to write and rewrite your list on tasks to complete on a regular basis. Delay writing burnout by creating templates.

If you know that you will create a to-do list every day or every week in your journal, it might be a good idea to type a list template that you can print and affix to your paper journal.e.g. If you have a weekly to-do list for the foreseeable future that has as its focus Housing goals, Blogging goals, and Financial goals, then type those headings in a simple table, leaving blanks for you to write in the specific goal each week.

If you are using a digital journal for your list, create a to-do list template that you can copy and paste every day or every week.

Continue tweaking your journal and your lists until it fits your life. Pay attention to what fatigues you about your writing and what brings you  a sense of well-being.

And remember that what worked for you in a different phase of life might need to be tweaked for your current phase of life.

Peace,

Deborah

 

Which Pen Should You Use for Journal Writing?

Use the writing implement or medium that works for you and your journal. If a Visconti Rembrandt fountain pen makes you eager to write, go for that investment. If a store brand pen which you can buy in packs of 50 gets your creative juices flowing (because you’re not worried about someone “borrowing” it), then use that inexpensive pen.

Sometimes you’re not even using a writing implement. There may be times when you  glue an image to a page to speak for your mood instead of words.

The pen (or other medium) you should use for the journal is the one that serves you.

Onward,

Deborah

Old Journals Are Like Letters to Yourself

Have you written a letter to your future self? Depending on the purpose of your journal, your personal book can serve as an extended letter to self,  featuring goals,  wishes,  your ideology. . . Everything. Anything.

This morning, I read an entry from ten years ago. I was jaded,  dejected,  and hoped that my older self was having fun.

My younger self had been despondent for months. I do not recall those moments lasting so long, but there they are in black ink (sometimes red ink when feeling particularly dramatic).

I cannot help her now, but I can help someone else who shows similar deviations from their baseline behavior.

These journals help me to be aware of how a person might feel during different phases of life, phases long forgotten.

The journals help to empathize with younger people or those going through the doldrums.

Have you read one of your old journal today? What did you discover in what is, essentially, a letter to yourself ?

Peace,

Deborah

What Would You Do If You Were Not Afraid?

What has prevented you from reaching your goals? Is part of it fear? Fear of what? Writing it all down in private, in a journal  (paper or digital) helps to process what’s going on internally. From there, you have a better stance from which to address the issue.

A journal can also help you to understand your patterns of fear as well as the things you continue to say that you want, the goals you continue to claim will be completed. Following the patterns of behavior recorded in your journal can help you  understand what you fear, at what points you tend to fail and why.

Reading my old journals where I would write that I plan to do X, Y or Z, and then seeing how little of that I had accomplished was devastating. I determined to discover where I continue to fail. A lot of it was allowing fear to make my decisions, or just not making a decision at all (which is a decision by omission).

Use your journal to help you understand what you would do if you were not afraid.

Peace,

Deborah

 

Do You Use a Table of Contents in Your Journal?

How many of you use a table of contents in your paper journal?

While it is perfectly possible to enjoy the benefits of journal writing without labeling each entry, a table of contents or an index will help to skim the journal for an entry that you will want to re-read later.

Plus, a table of contents gives you a summary of your year (or whatever time frame in which you used the journal). Sometimes you look back in wonder at all the thing you have done (or didn’t do) in a year, just by looking at the table of contents.

Peace,

Deborah

 

Journey® Digital Journal [A Review]

Inspired by the founder of National Journal Writing Month, Bakari Chavanu, who talks about his enjoyment of digital journal writing, this month I journaled using an app on my phone.

I used the Journey® brand of digital journal, which is for Android.

You type as you would a memo. (In fact, Journey  resembles the Memo Pad which comes automatically with your Samsung, but with a more aesthetically-pleasing interface.)

You insert video, photos,  stickers, etc., should you prefer to do so. I did not find an audio feature (other than whatever audio is on your video); I’m surprised since even Memo Pad allows for voice-only attachments to your entry.

There are other features which you access with an upgrade, however, there are plenty features in the free version to keep a simple digital journal.

Journey automatically dates the entry; the date and time remain even if you update. There is an option to change the date and time manually. (So that’s one up on the Memo Pad, which automatically updates your date and time when you change an entry and you cannot alter it.) When you start a fresh entry but use an old image, Journey asks whether you want to change the date from the current date to the date on the image.

journey digital journal - screenshot - Deborah Observes

To read the next journal entry on Journey, you can easily click the arrow at the bottom of your journal post (or use the timeline feature to have a big picture glimpse of your little essays). Journey, of course, comes with standard tag features and the ability to search. These features spark the feeling of creating a personal mini blog.

Journey is great for those moments when you do not have your paper journal with you, or when you need to add text to that image you have just taken so that you do not forget details of an event.

It’s a serviceable journal app to capture moments, but not so great for lengthy, soul-searching, life-altering journaling. For me, Journey would supplement my main journal writing, but not replace it.

I prefer the intimacy of a hand-written, paper journal; I’m accustomed to it. However, Journey’s ability to allow you to search for specific entries and categorize by tags is selling me on digital journal writing in general.

Ultimately, Journey is a less-clunky, journal-dedicated version of Memo Pad.

Journey digital journal might be for you if…

…you like an intuitive, streamlined, user-friendly app for journal writing.

…you need a journal app that can be used with a desktop or laptop keyboard.

…you need an Android app to capture moments while you are out and about.

…you would like to store journal entries on Google Drive.

Journey digital journal might NOT be for you if…

… you prefer to use your iPhone for journal writing. Journey is currently only for Android users.

…you prefer to journal exclusively on paper. (However, there is an option to export as a WORD document or a PDF, among other formats, should you prefer to print it off  into paper form.)

… you already use Memo Pad for digital journaling and are ok with not be able to sync the text to other devices.

Click here to view the specifics of Journey brand digital journal on Google Play.

Sincerely,

Deborah

How to Use a Journal to Remember a Recently-Deceased Relative

When a loved one dies, you might wish to remember the person by writing about your experience in your journal, writing about the deceased and keeping mementos.

Here are a few things that I have done with a journal during Aunt C’s recent illness and  death:

1. Print Text Messages

These days, some are irritated if you call them on the phone without advance notice. Instead, we send short text messages on our cell phones or other mobile devices when it is more convenient than voice-to-voice or face-to-face communication.

I’m so glad that this is the case, because text messages from loved ones who are now deceased become written (or, rather, typed) keepsakes.

I have texts from Aunt C that I will print out and place in my journal, including her last one in which she thanked me for sending a book about cancer and hope – not know the deceased very well, the speech tends to be an impersonal lecture. However, he or she might still have a few words worth worth your time; take notes. I do not put too much pressure on myself to summarize the eulogy if the person did not know the deceased; I just grab one concept from the whole speech, then write about something else.

At some funerals, there is a point in the service when audience members may go to a microphone for a couple of minutes and reflect on the life of the person who has died. Usually, the audience member tells a story about one moment in time when the deceased was kind, or entertaining, or a welcome presence, etc. These are often stories that I’ve never heard before, so I take notes. I summarized these 2-minute reflections about Aunt C in my journal during her funeral.

You may decide to do all of this in your journal later at home. However, I have found that I tend to forget some of the things I want to record unless I’m taking notes in the moment, as if it is an important class.

(Actually, a funeral can be an important class in life. Everyone is thinking about death and what is important to them. It’s a time of reflection.)

5. Consider an heirloom journal

Let’s say that the deceased did not leave much of a personal record of themselves – their opinions, their thoughts on life, their thoughts on the family, etc. There’s little you can do about that.

However, you can consider leaving YOUR journals behind so that your relatives have a keepsake from you.  The heirlooms might be your daily journals or a separate journal specifically dedicated to what you want your relatives to know about you, about life, about concepts that you find important.

Aunt C did not keep a journal (at least, not that we know of); she was a private individual. However, after her death, a few relatives perused her papers to get a better sense of who she was, that which she never really told us about herself. It was a bit impersonal since the papers were diplomas, certificates, office papers, bills, etc., but they still told a story. It would have been nice to have something a little more personal from her.

Give the gift of your personal story to your loved ones by leaving your journals in your will.

Peace,

Deborah

P.S. If you are worried about what can happen to your journal after you die, read this article to consider your options: Journaling Q and A, Part 1.

How to Handle a Funeral as an Introvert

My family recently held a funeral. It is the kind of funeral where dozens of cousins and others from all over the planet join together in one spot to remember our deceased relative.

From the carpooling, to the hosting duties, to having to meet and greet people you haven’t seen in a while, to viewing images and hearing stories of the deceased,  it’s an intense hour or two for so many reasons.

When you are introverted and would rather be alone with your thoughts, you might feel the overwhelming, almost claustrophobic, social atmosphere in ways that others do not.

Here are a few tips for introverts that I have used recently and in the past at funerals:

  • You might decide that the funeral is not for you, that it doesn’t help you grieve. You might decide not to go at all. Respect your own way of healing; do not be pressured into attending if you would rather not.
  • Ahead of time, spend as much time to yourself as you require, or around the individuals that you enjoy most. Once you arrive at the funeral, you will be surrounded by two kinds of people: those you like and those who are helping you to practice patience. Fully charge yourself (like a battery) beforehand.
  • Even with the best of intentions, you still might feel the need to step out of the room for a minute or step out of the room until it is time to leave the property. That is perfectly fine. Each person, introverted or not, has a different way to grieve and process a death. At a certain interval, I walked away from the crowd in the building to be alone at the cemetery for awhile; it was the only peaceful place.
  • Journal during the funeral. Journal writing can be a solitary endeavor where you slow down, calm down, and organize your jumbled thoughts. I like to take notes on the different stories that people are telling about the deceased. Be aware, however, that other people might look over your shoulder to see what you are writing.
  • If the funeral is a two-part event, wherein there is a memorial and then food is served, skip the meal, if you wish. It’s just more crowding and how-do-you-dos.
  • If you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, if you are having sensory overload, concentrate on something. Ask yourself, what one thing do I see? What one thing do I smell? What one thing do I taste? What one sound do I hear? What one texture do I feel right now? These are also good journal prompts.
  • If  it is not too much for you, be a listening ear to someone else who wishes to get something off her chest. I find that commiserating with someone that I like, helping her with her problems, takes my mind off of my own tendency to bolt out of the crowd.
  • After the funeral, do something enjoyable or relaxing. The weekend after the funeral, when I would usually concentrate on business or work,  I did absolutely nothing that wasn’t enjoyable to me. I thought about my deceased relative, read a book that I like, wrote in my journal and just relaxed.

What are your tips for introverts at funerals?

Peace,

Deborah

Do You Reread Your Journals?

People write in journals for a variety of reasons. Depending on the purpose of the journal, rereading it can be useful. Sometimes, however, rereading the journal serves no purpose for you or perhaps it is too painful.

However, for those of us who use journals to record our history, our progress (or lack of it), rereading is essential.

I recently stumbled across Tim Ferriss’ book – Tools of Titans. In his introduction, I was struck by his use of journals. He calls them “notes.”

“I’m a compulsive note-taker…. I have recorded nearly every workout since age 18 or so…. It is the collection of my life’s recipes.

“My goal is to learn things once and use them forever.

“For instance, let’s say I stumble upon a picture of myself from June 5, 2007, and I think, ‘I really wish I looked like that again.’ No problem. I’ll crack open a dusty volume from 2007, review the 8 weeks of training and food logs preceding June 5, repeat them and -voila- end up looking nearly the same as my younger self (minus the hair). It’s not always that easy, but it often is.”

For Ferriss, workout journals and food logs are important.

What would be important for you to recall from your journals?

For me, recalling what I was doing a year ago  helps me to understand my progress and my process in any given area of life. Have I made progress on the goals mentioned last year?

Approximately a year ago this month, I said that I wanted to create a business. I’ve set those gears in motion.

One of the things I now do that I wasn’t doing last year this time is use the journal to record my goals for the week, re-reading the goals daily, and revamping the next week’s goals on Saturday.

Members of BTS, a music group that I like, ask themselves at least three goal-related questions every year, questions that I have adapted to a weekly form and ask myself every Saturday in my journal. They are these:

  1. What accomplishments excited you this week?
  2. What would you like to accomplish next week?
  3. Give yourself encouragement for the next week.

I answer these questions. Under accomplishments for the week, I note daily which things I’ve done and which I have not. I reread the answers at the end of the week. Sometimes I look back on the week and see lots of notes that something did not happen, that I did not accomplish this thing or that. It can be discouraging. But the great difference between last year and this year is that I correct the failings quicker because I  reread the list of things to do every week.

My journal is also where I record my feelings or thoughts about family, business, technology or anything else I’m thinking about. Not only is my to-do list there, but the mental state that I’m in when I accomplish (or fail to accomplish) a thing is right there as well. This helps me to see patterns of thought that I can change to alter my behavior, map my behavior towards the goal.

The person that I once was is always a familiar stranger. This is comforting. Since I made such terrible career decisions in my youth, I am forever in doubt that I’ll know what future self wants. However, according to my journals, the terrible decisions occurred when I stopped listening to myself and followed the crowd. Now, I listen to myself more, I follow the way that I am bent more, even if my behavior is difficult to explain. (This is another reason that rereading my journals comes in handy – if I can explain myself to myself, I have a better shot at being able to explain myself to other people.)

Do you reread your journals? Why do you do so?

Peace,

Deborah

Introvert at a Family Reunion

Family reunions can crop up at any time, especially during holidays. You love your relatives,  but the crowds can be draining for those of us who are introverts and gather our energy from solitude or quiet. We are like the battery in your phone -plug us in,  leave us alone,  and we will recharge.

Here are a few tips to help an introvert at a family reunion.

~ Remember why you are at the reunion.  If you are there to get to know people,  have a goal to better understand at least one of your relatives.  After you have accomplished this task,  consider the event a success and go home.

~ If you are on the reunion committee,  use your influence to suggest quiet times,  more breaks between scheduled programs,  or help to create quiet corners in the event space.

~ Even if you are not on the reunion committee,  and it is an informal reunion,  volunteer to help behind the scenes where there tends to be more work going on and less chatter.

~ Take a break from people when you need to do so.  Self-care is not rude.

~ If the reunion is at or near a hotel,  rent a room there. Quietly steal away to decompress in the room when needed.

~ If the reunion is in a more rustic area and you are camping,  rise before everyone else,  drink in the beautiful vista, and enjoy the quiet by yourself before the events start.

~ Help other introverts. As you understand your relatives more,  you will learn who also needs quiet time;  help them find it. You might need to run interference for an introverted relative by distracting Aunt Fern with chit chat so that Cousin Chad may escape to solitude.

At a recent reunion,  I discovered that one of my younger cousins does not like crowds and would cry whenever too many people engaged with him. His parents, however, were there to socialize. I volunteered to supervise him away from crowds and he seemed perfectly contented.

~ Have a long talk with a relative that you like. The familiarity tends to ease the frustration of crowds.  Before you know it,  the event will be over.

~ Arrive in your own mode of transportation so that you can leave when needed.

~ If you carpool to the event,  choose to ride with two relatives who love to chat with each other.   Engage in the conversation  only when you feel like doing so.

Peace be with you,

Deborah